Epikelly
242 Watchers455 Deviations
81.4K
Pageviews Journals1
Newest
Leaving (Links below)
6 min read
I have been on deviantArt for almost 13 years... (This account says otherwise but I've bounced from one account to the next, and onto this one ((my second one was short lived cause my mom made me get rid of it fnkgorkngle)) This site has both... RUINED me, AND helped me in so many different ways.
First of all, I was here way back in 2007... 12-year-old-me had just fallen head over heels for Dragon Ball Z, and wanted to see some pictures of Freeza on google-- I saw some art that linked back to this website, and things forever changed. I met people, artists, friends that changed my life. I worked passionately on my art and writing, hoping that I could one day be just as talanted as the people I admired on here. By interacting with other artists' and their work, I unknowingly began to practice skills such as world building, character creation, and story telling. It was 'unknown' because I had so much fun; it didn't feel like work...
I never fit in when it came to school or other people my age. No one watched anime. No one drew their own characters. No one roleplayed or wrote stories. I was picked on. A lot-- My self-esteem deminished by people who didn't understand the things I was so passionate about. Even my family was critical... But when I got home and logged onto dA, everything was alright. I was connecting with people across the globe over our favoite anime characters, over works in progress, over... anything.
While not every memory on here is a delight... It's the good ones that kept me here for so long, and it's the good ones that helped me become the person I am today.
That being said... This website is no longer for me...
I'm aware that MOST people see my art HERE more than any other social media I have, but honestly... I feel like I don't wanna do it for anyone else anymore... 2020 has been my year of self love and discovery... I am trying to find what makes ME happy about MY art. Whenever I would post drawings on here, I'd keep in mind what my 'audience' would want to see... I know that seems a little 'off' considering I draw things that LOOK like they're for me, but it was always in the hopes that I'd catch someone else's eye.
That's the first reason...
The second has to do with, uh, to be quite blunt, the 'loss' of friends I've had over the past decade. I have bounced from friend group to friend group (just like my accounts ekjngignjrww,) and it has been... a very long time since I've put myself in a group of people that I could vibe with or just even... like, honestly... Maybe it's the age... I'm 25 now. Most of dA is filled with hopeful children haha. I understand there's plenty of adults on here, but none that I have offically 'clicked'cliqued? with. I can't. I've always been mentally younger than everyone else in my age group. But now I'm TOO old. Hanging around with 16-year-olds... Not a vibe. Sorry.
Anyway, besides my age, I have not always the 'better' person. I have made mistakes and hurt people. Some of which I'm not sorry for, uh, lowkey... but many I am apologetic about. I was young and dumb, as they say. It's weird to think I've actually... matured... through this website. I've been through some shit (offline, but also here i guess lol) that REALLY changed my whole perspective on things. Unforunetly, it was a little too late for certain friendships to be re-bonded... And I've accepeted that.
I also... didn't hang out with the right crowd during some troubling times. This isn't to say that I don't appriciate the time we spent together as a group, but I felt the connection begin to lose strength as I watched some seriously distrubing behavior. Not just in other people. But myself as well. No one was able to step in and stop it. There was strength in numbers and we had them. Who could truly stand up and say 'that's enough' to 12+ people are the 'wrong' side.
One day I slipped out the back door and never returned. That's when I changed, I think. But nothing like 2020.
Now, the final reason why I'm leaving deviantArt? The new layout being forced on us, the artists. This reasoning sounds pretty underwhelming when compared to the two, but it's the straw that broke the camel's back. Eclipse... Is not a good transition. Maybe for some people it's great, but I personally could not adjust to it, and I have tried. Mutiples times. Including when I accidentally clicked the 'Eclipse' button at the top of the page and promposty switched back. Mutiple times.
While I myself have changed, so has dA... but from what I'm seeing, it wasn't for the better. *Core was a red flag. the staff telling us that 'techincally' you can't steal art because artists have been 'stealing' art since the beginning of time... Very big red flag. Ya'll remember that, don't you? And of course... Eclipse. Fucking Eclipse.
The staff is ignoring the cries of long-time artists who think THIS is a bad layout. A bad IDEA. They're plugging their ears and refusing to let us keep the old format. Like Tumblr, I truly hope this ends in disater for them. I hope most of their 'loyal' artists leave the site and the staff learns a lesson from this.
----
Because I am leaving, I want to share some links to places where you can find me and my art:
Twitter: twitter.com/ASMRforCLODS
Instagram: www.instagram.com/epikelly_man…
Tumblr (tho this site has gone to hell, too, but at least it works febnfgwffng) : mrsmandragora.tumblr.com/
I can't imagine I'll come back anytime soon, if ever. I had a hard time trying to stay active as is. I may come on here to see art, but I will not post here. Everything will remain up as an archive of sorts.
Thank you for your support through all these years.
~Epikelly
First of all, I was here way back in 2007... 12-year-old-me had just fallen head over heels for Dragon Ball Z, and wanted to see some pictures of Freeza on google-- I saw some art that linked back to this website, and things forever changed. I met people, artists, friends that changed my life. I worked passionately on my art and writing, hoping that I could one day be just as talanted as the people I admired on here. By interacting with other artists' and their work, I unknowingly began to practice skills such as world building, character creation, and story telling. It was 'unknown' because I had so much fun; it didn't feel like work...
I never fit in when it came to school or other people my age. No one watched anime. No one drew their own characters. No one roleplayed or wrote stories. I was picked on. A lot-- My self-esteem deminished by people who didn't understand the things I was so passionate about. Even my family was critical... But when I got home and logged onto dA, everything was alright. I was connecting with people across the globe over our favoite anime characters, over works in progress, over... anything.
While not every memory on here is a delight... It's the good ones that kept me here for so long, and it's the good ones that helped me become the person I am today.
That being said... This website is no longer for me...
I'm aware that MOST people see my art HERE more than any other social media I have, but honestly... I feel like I don't wanna do it for anyone else anymore... 2020 has been my year of self love and discovery... I am trying to find what makes ME happy about MY art. Whenever I would post drawings on here, I'd keep in mind what my 'audience' would want to see... I know that seems a little 'off' considering I draw things that LOOK like they're for me, but it was always in the hopes that I'd catch someone else's eye.
That's the first reason...
The second has to do with, uh, to be quite blunt, the 'loss' of friends I've had over the past decade. I have bounced from friend group to friend group (just like my accounts ekjngignjrww,) and it has been... a very long time since I've put myself in a group of people that I could vibe with or just even... like, honestly... Maybe it's the age... I'm 25 now. Most of dA is filled with hopeful children haha. I understand there's plenty of adults on here, but none that I have offically 'clicked'
Anyway, besides my age, I have not always the 'better' person. I have made mistakes and hurt people. Some of which I'm not sorry for, uh, lowkey... but many I am apologetic about. I was young and dumb, as they say. It's weird to think I've actually... matured... through this website. I've been through some shit (offline, but also here i guess lol) that REALLY changed my whole perspective on things. Unforunetly, it was a little too late for certain friendships to be re-bonded... And I've accepeted that.
I also... didn't hang out with the right crowd during some troubling times. This isn't to say that I don't appriciate the time we spent together as a group, but I felt the connection begin to lose strength as I watched some seriously distrubing behavior. Not just in other people. But myself as well. No one was able to step in and stop it. There was strength in numbers and we had them. Who could truly stand up and say 'that's enough' to 12+ people are the 'wrong' side.
One day I slipped out the back door and never returned. That's when I changed, I think. But nothing like 2020.
Now, the final reason why I'm leaving deviantArt? The new layout being forced on us, the artists. This reasoning sounds pretty underwhelming when compared to the two, but it's the straw that broke the camel's back. Eclipse... Is not a good transition. Maybe for some people it's great, but I personally could not adjust to it, and I have tried. Mutiples times. Including when I accidentally clicked the 'Eclipse' button at the top of the page and promposty switched back. Mutiple times.
While I myself have changed, so has dA... but from what I'm seeing, it wasn't for the better. *Core was a red flag. the staff telling us that 'techincally' you can't steal art because artists have been 'stealing' art since the beginning of time... Very big red flag. Ya'll remember that, don't you? And of course... Eclipse. Fucking Eclipse.
The staff is ignoring the cries of long-time artists who think THIS is a bad layout. A bad IDEA. They're plugging their ears and refusing to let us keep the old format. Like Tumblr, I truly hope this ends in disater for them. I hope most of their 'loyal' artists leave the site and the staff learns a lesson from this.
----
Because I am leaving, I want to share some links to places where you can find me and my art:
Twitter: twitter.com/ASMRforCLODS
Instagram: www.instagram.com/epikelly_man…
Tumblr (tho this site has gone to hell, too, but at least it works febnfgwffng) : mrsmandragora.tumblr.com/
I can't imagine I'll come back anytime soon, if ever. I had a hard time trying to stay active as is. I may come on here to see art, but I will not post here. Everything will remain up as an archive of sorts.
Thank you for your support through all these years.
~Epikelly
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In